Helping a family feel heard with an ADHD and Autism assessment

When the school’s version of your child doesn’t match your own.

Our story follows an 11-year-old girl whose parents spent years describing what they saw at home and hearing something different in return. Her school had described her as naughty and manipulative, while her family were watching a child who was overwhelmed.

See how we supported the family with a child ADHD and autism assessment led by Gurmat Khangura, and what began to change once her experiences made sense.

If you want to explore your own family’s experiences further, contact AG & Co Health today or book a free consultation online to get started at a time that’s convenient for you.

Where we started

ADHD and autism often present together, sometimes described as AuDHD, and the experiences they bring can overlap. After hearing about some of our client's early experiences, we decided to assess for both.

Signs the family noticed early on

From an early age, this child’s family noticed that she experienced the world around her differently from her peers. They described:

• A speech delay and finding it hard to retain information
• Needing a great deal of support to manage strong emotions
• Play that was ordered and repetitive
• Friendships that formed quickly and felt very intense
• Difficulty reading the unspoken rules of social situations

Everyday life took enormous effort

At home, ordinary days were demanding. Getting ready, eating meals, and moving between activities were all sources of real distress. Meltdowns could last hours, set off by something that might seem small to a neurotypical person: a seam in a sock, a change of plan, a small shift in someone’s tone. The family adapted constantly around her needs, without support.

What led the family to seek an assessment

Her mother has a professional as well as personal understanding of child development, and even so, the family found they were repeatedly dismissed and misunderstood.

Two things brought matters to a head:

1. Growing pressure at secondary school
2. Increasing worry about their daughter’s emotional wellbeing

A full-picture ADHD and autism assessment

We started by gathering information to piece together a picture of the child’s full developmental history covering pregnancy and birth, early milestones, education, and family history. This involved conversing with the parents and gathering questionnaires from them and the school.

Our primary goal was to ensure a comprehensive understanding of the child’s experiences so that no single account of her carried all the weight.

We then saw her directly, with her parents close by for reassurance, using standard assessment tools and clinical observation. To ensure her comfort and safety, we made adaptations for her anxiety and sensory needs, which is something we’ll do for any client.

We recorded her strengths just as carefully as everything else, such as her love of music, her memory for song lyrics and movie quotes, her creativity, her affection for animals, and her strong sense of justice.

Her family described the process as thorough, respectful, and validating. They felt that years of their own observations were being treated as clinically valuable information.

Making sense of the full picture

A list of behaviours rarely tells a family anything they don’t already know. What helps is understanding what sits below the surface. One of the things the family valued was being given a framework that explained why their daughter responds to the world as she does.

Theory of mind

Theory of mind refers to the ability to understand that other people have their own thoughts, feelings, intentions, and perspectives - and that these may be different from our own.

For our client, reading intentions was consistently challenging. Calm communication could feel critical to her. She found it difficult to tell whether a friend was joking or being unkind, or whether a peer had moved on to another activity rather than deliberately leaving her out. When she made blunt or hurtful comments to others, she was genuinely unaware of their impact.

Cognitive rigidity and the need for predictability

Cognitive rigidity can make it very hard for neurodivergent people to move on from a thought, change a plan, or see a situation from a different angle.

Our client experienced cognitive rigidity across many areas of her life. She held her own perspective firmly, and when something felt unjust to her, she could not set it down.

Routines needed following precisely. Even minor changes could lead to long and difficult dysregulation, such as a small change to a plan, a different plate, or an unexpected alteration to her timetable. Predictability made the world feel knowable and safe.

Central coherence

Central coherence is how the brain works to understand the overall meaning of something. It can be challenging for neurodivergent people who may focus intensely on details.

The assessment found central coherence to be a challenge for our young client. When telling a story or recounting events, her narrative was often difficult to follow. She focused on specific details and would quickly notice if a single item in her carefully arranged belongings had been moved, even by the smallest amount, but the wider context was harder for her to take in.

Sensory overwhelm

Sensory processing is how we take in information through touch, sound, taste, smell, and sight. Some neurodivergent people experience it more or less intensely than others.

We found that sensory information reached our client more intensely than it reaches neurotypical people. She would experience significant distress from certain clothing textures, seams in socks, busy places, unexpected sounds, and food with certain textures or temperatures. Unfortunately, her sensory needs were not recognised or accommodated within her school environment, and support such as fidget toys were removed.

Executive functioning

Executive functioning is about how people manage their time, complete tasks, and retain information. Differences here can make everyday tasks feel enormously challenging.

Our client experienced executive functioning difficulties that impacted her both at home and in school. She needed consistent support to prepare for school and get ready each day, so she remembered exactly what she needed to do, wear, and take with her. She struggled to complete tasks with multiple steps, she couldn’t tell the time, and she found it difficult to begin tasks that were too demanding. These weren’t choices, they were neurological differences in how her brain manages planning and initiation.

Outcome and support

Our assessment confirmed this young person met the criteria for ADHD and ASD. For her family, this diagnosis was a huge weight off their shoulders. It confirmed what they had been describing for years and was the foundation for better support.

From diagnosis, we focused on practical and supportive next steps:

• For the young person, understanding that her brain works differently and that her experiences are not to be ashamed of.
• For her family, a framework for making sense of what they see day-to-day and advice on professional support options going forward.
• And at school, an evidence basis for reasonable adjustments, sensory accommodations, and better support informed by her needs.

In her parents’ words

"For years we watched our daughter struggle and were told she was choosing to behave the way she did. We knew in our hearts that wasn't true - but without the right support, we couldn't prove it. The assessment gave us what we had been searching for: answers. Not just a label, but a real, detailed explanation of how her mind works and why the world can feel so overwhelming for her. We finally feel like we have something concrete to take back to school and say - this is our daughter, this is why she needs support, and this is what that support should look like. If you are a parent who feels like you are not being heard, please don't give up. The right assessment changes everything."

— Parent, shared with consent (details anonymised)

Talk to us about your own child

If any of this feels familiar, you are welcome to talk it through before deciding anything. We offer a free consultation where you can ask questions, describe what you have been noticing, and find out what an assessment involves.

Call Gurmat Khangura on 07849582010 or book your free consultation at a time that suits you.